The Bar That Was..

Last September, I happened to be one of the 5,804 bar examinees who had undergone the four gruelling and spine-chilling sundays at the Dela Salle University. That was my second try after 2004, and hopefully, by faith through God's grace, would by my last, and by March of next year, to harvest what i'd earnestly sown.. Compared to 2004, what made this year's bar a cut from my first was that it had also become a very remarkable and exciting journey of faith, of self-discovery, of strength of character, of relationships, and of physical stamina. Failing the bar is equivalent to dreams shattered. In my experience, i felt that i was stripped off of my sense of humanity. I've seen how my dreams fell apart...hope losing day by day...uncertainty setting in...and fear (of losing direction) prevailed. That failure ate me up, corrupted me, brought out the worst in me, made me so bitter and deeply ingrained hatred in my heart..but that was three years ago. Time heals all wounds they say, and time also gives us the answer to all the puzzles in our lives. Now, I have healed, i have moved on, i have forgiven myself, i have learned all the lessons, and i am ready again to recapture my desire of becoming a lawyer. I took the courage this year and it was all worth it. This year's bar was not just another exam for me. It was a more profound endeavor and it has taken a deeper meaning in my life and would certainly remain that way. In my almost one year preparation and in my one month stay in Manila, i felt that i was not just preparing for an exam, but preparing to know and love myself again, finding my inner wisdom and reclaiming and strengthening my faith that was lost several times. Indeed, my journey to the bar exam is a journey of self-discovery at the same time. These were my unforgettable memories: - my morning jogging that lasted for six months which was the entire duration of my self-review...i jogged and communed with HIM at the same time..i told myself that if i want to hurdle the bar, I would really have to literally run the marathon ("run the marathon" is what Prof. Domondom always tells us in our review..thank you sir :) - kiss and make up with alvin cos he was jealous with the passion i had for my review -morning jogging with my co-bar examinees at Asilo ground...i was the only rose among the thorns...i enjoyed it cos i felt a deep sense of solidarity being with them.. -bonding moments with rona, ate lotlot, shirley, mommy angie...we were together in Asilo...we shared notes and food (cake galore every Saturday night...charap!!), we shared our life stories, we hilariously laughed together after the 1st sunday cos we realized how stupid some of our answers were in political law, we dreamed together as we imagined what clothes to wear for the oathtaking (kahilas! he..he..) and from whom to borrow our black toga, in case, etc.etc. -friday afternoon review with Lex at Garden Plaza, Paco...i was with the Cebu reviewees...despite the fatigue, i felt rejuvenated talking to some of them, hearing stories of hope, faith, and being carried away with their fighting spirit and strong determination..and of course, listening earnestly to the lex bar reviewers whom i really looked up to...they gained my respect cos i could feel their sincerest intentions of truly helping examinees from the province make it to the bar...i always thank them.. -the four euphoric Sundays...sleepless nights, waking up at 4AM for the whole month of September and going to bed very late doubtful if everything you read was absorbed by your already tortured brain, preparing one's ammunitions every Sunday for the great battle, trying to dress and look good to camouflage the eyebags, the dry and coarsed skin, the stress.. seeing friends, classmates and acquaintances at Dela Salle who were as bothered, as tensed and anxious like everyone else..and most of all, -the feeling of excitement and joyful anticipation of the last Sunday which was hundred folds more euphoric...seeing bar examinees shed tears of joy, families and friends hugging each other, beer overflowing, street dancing, et. etc.. -unceasing prayers and moments with HIM...i have learned to surrender...i knew by heart that HE was there...i felt i was not alone in that battle. hahay, the bar that was...so wrapped up with inspiring stories of faith, hope, love, dreams and friendship...and the stories continue to unfold...