The Bar That Was..

Last September, I happened to be one of the 5,804 bar examinees who had undergone the four gruelling and spine-chilling sundays at the Dela Salle University. That was my second try after 2004, and hopefully, by faith through God's grace, would by my last, and by March of next year, to harvest what i'd earnestly sown.. Compared to 2004, what made this year's bar a cut from my first was that it had also become a very remarkable and exciting journey of faith, of self-discovery, of strength of character, of relationships, and of physical stamina. Failing the bar is equivalent to dreams shattered. In my experience, i felt that i was stripped off of my sense of humanity. I've seen how my dreams fell apart...hope losing day by day...uncertainty setting in...and fear (of losing direction) prevailed. That failure ate me up, corrupted me, brought out the worst in me, made me so bitter and deeply ingrained hatred in my heart..but that was three years ago. Time heals all wounds they say, and time also gives us the answer to all the puzzles in our lives. Now, I have healed, i have moved on, i have forgiven myself, i have learned all the lessons, and i am ready again to recapture my desire of becoming a lawyer. I took the courage this year and it was all worth it. This year's bar was not just another exam for me. It was a more profound endeavor and it has taken a deeper meaning in my life and would certainly remain that way. In my almost one year preparation and in my one month stay in Manila, i felt that i was not just preparing for an exam, but preparing to know and love myself again, finding my inner wisdom and reclaiming and strengthening my faith that was lost several times. Indeed, my journey to the bar exam is a journey of self-discovery at the same time. These were my unforgettable memories: - my morning jogging that lasted for six months which was the entire duration of my self-review...i jogged and communed with HIM at the same time..i told myself that if i want to hurdle the bar, I would really have to literally run the marathon ("run the marathon" is what Prof. Domondom always tells us in our review..thank you sir :) - kiss and make up with alvin cos he was jealous with the passion i had for my review -morning jogging with my co-bar examinees at Asilo ground...i was the only rose among the thorns...i enjoyed it cos i felt a deep sense of solidarity being with them.. -bonding moments with rona, ate lotlot, shirley, mommy angie...we were together in Asilo...we shared notes and food (cake galore every Saturday night...charap!!), we shared our life stories, we hilariously laughed together after the 1st sunday cos we realized how stupid some of our answers were in political law, we dreamed together as we imagined what clothes to wear for the oathtaking (kahilas! he..he..) and from whom to borrow our black toga, in case, etc.etc. -friday afternoon review with Lex at Garden Plaza, Paco...i was with the Cebu reviewees...despite the fatigue, i felt rejuvenated talking to some of them, hearing stories of hope, faith, and being carried away with their fighting spirit and strong determination..and of course, listening earnestly to the lex bar reviewers whom i really looked up to...they gained my respect cos i could feel their sincerest intentions of truly helping examinees from the province make it to the bar...i always thank them.. -the four euphoric Sundays...sleepless nights, waking up at 4AM for the whole month of September and going to bed very late doubtful if everything you read was absorbed by your already tortured brain, preparing one's ammunitions every Sunday for the great battle, trying to dress and look good to camouflage the eyebags, the dry and coarsed skin, the stress.. seeing friends, classmates and acquaintances at Dela Salle who were as bothered, as tensed and anxious like everyone else..and most of all, -the feeling of excitement and joyful anticipation of the last Sunday which was hundred folds more euphoric...seeing bar examinees shed tears of joy, families and friends hugging each other, beer overflowing, street dancing, et. etc.. -unceasing prayers and moments with HIM...i have learned to surrender...i knew by heart that HE was there...i felt i was not alone in that battle. hahay, the bar that was...so wrapped up with inspiring stories of faith, hope, love, dreams and friendship...and the stories continue to unfold...

The Significance of February 8

Today, February 8, 2008 is Constitution Day. And today,the Senate Probe on the ZTE/NBN mega project has begun.No matter how flawed our Constitution is, it remains supreme and deservesour deference and high regard. It is the bedrock of our democratic and republican state, and the product of our long and arduous struggle for freedom against dictatorship.The very same Constitution clearly provides and demarcates the mandates and powers of the three co-equal branches of our government--the Executive, Legislative and Judiciary. But while they are co-equal, they are also interdependent, hence, the principles of check and balance and blending of powers.The Senate's power of legislative inquiry is provided by the Constitution. While its thrust is to aid in legislation, it cannot be overemphasized that its very essence goes back to the Constitutional right of the people to information on matters of public concern.ZTE/NBN probe is in pursuance of that Constitutional mandate.The Senate is constitutionally and legally exercising its oversight and checking function.February 8, 2008, is a day of commemoration, indignation, infamy, and celebration. We COMMEMORATE the natal of our New Constitution; express our INDIGNATION for what has been badly going on now with our state of governance & the indiscretions of those who govern us; condemn the INFAMY, scandals and national shame we are projecting to the rest of theworld through the ingenious ways we tailored and perfect corruption; CELEBRATE, admire & take inspiration from people like JUN LOZADA who risks his life to do the right thing for us and for this troubled country.May this day not pass like any ordinary day where apathy and indifference abound. May we face a new day with no more cynicisms nor fear to make a stand; to do the right thing; to be another Jun Lozada in our own little ways, and to fight for a cause greater than ourselves. God bless this day.

EMANCIPATION

I call this period in our nation's history as deeply wanting of emancipation, of deliverance and of freedom from restraint--restraint from something that we have long been held captive of not only as a nation but also as a people in our own personal bondages. As Prof Randy David had emphasized, "this wrenching moment is brought about by perturbations that occur with increasing frequency. The pressure for change is felt at the individual and societal levels. The reluctant and terrified whistle-blower Rodolfo Noel Lozada Jr. exemplifies the personal insecurity that an individual, caught in this transition, experiences as he comes face to face with the ugly side of a gangster regime. He sees how defenseless he is as he unburdens himself of the guilt of an entire system." At the level of society, citizens note the unreliability of institutions that have been instrumentalized by personal power. They realize they can no longer call upon the old unspoken norms to restrain those who wield power. But, more than this, the “rule of law” is exposed for what it is in a highly unequal society: nothing more, says the scholar Ben Anderson, than the oligarchy’s “firmest general guarantee of its property and political hegemony.” At the Senate hearing Friday, Lozada explained his decision to appear as driven by the need for him to think beyond his family, and for once to see himself as a member of a nation. Here he echoes a modernist sentiment that, more than a century ago, brought the generation of Jose Rizal to the threshold of an era of national and individual emancipation. In so doing, Lozada has become an agent of change. We salute him. (Prof. David, PDI, "Greed in a Changing Landscape") I believe that in our ardent desire to be freed from all these political and economic turmoils, we must also liberate ourselves in the process. Like Lozada, we too, should become an agent of change. We have to have that modernist sentiment of seeing things beyond ourselves, and start to re-connect our individual existence to a larger collective--as citizens of this nation. Emancipation is the cry of the times.

Remembering UP

Studying at UP was not a matter of choice but a matter of chance for me. First, I happened to be a high school student at a public school unknown to many, and perhaps, one of the least priorities to become recipient of many opportunities for post high school student scholarships. When the notice of UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test) admission was sent to our school, I was fortunate to be chosen as one of the five students to take the UPCAT at one of the universities in Bacolod City. With P50 and guts as my only baon, I hurdled the gruelling exam with an empty stomach and low self-esteem upon seeing my co-examinees who were not only loaded with yummy foods & moral support from their families, but who mostly came from private schools (if my memory would serve me right, I only had PEWEE as lunch at that time). I left the examination room hungry not only for food but also of confidence, self-awareness and affirmation (i almost could not make it to the exam because my sister had to undergo a caesarean operation and my family was very much financially constraint at that time). But I made it through the last bitter end. I still managed to hand in my examination paper, charged that exam to experience and thrown all my cautions to the wind, but perhaps UP was fate’s gift to me. I conquered the exam, and the rest was history. I am writing this to reminisce how I found a place in the country’s premier state university. And as UP commemorates its centenary, I honour my alma mater with so much pride and awe. I stand proud that in one way or another, I did my small but significant contributions to the people’s struggle. The university continues to be a bastion of activism. And this is to dispel the baseless accusations that UP has already lost its soul (referring to the culture of militancy and activism and the progressive tradition of the university). To this day, I believe that the university is still very much connected with the social realities and it does not operate in a social vacuum. To this very day, the UP community is still very much affected by issues such as graft and corruption, foreign debt, poverty, extrajudicial killings, state repression, human rights violations, and many other issues that can radicalize people. In my formative years in UP, I was hammered with the reality that the problems besetting the university are intimately linked with the problems of society. And as Iskolar ng Bayan, it is my bounden duty to study the people’s issues by heart and take active role in community development works or in any form of public service. This ideological formation had ripened to issue articulation in classroom interactions, FGDs, fora, immersion and demonstrations within and outside the confines of the university. The DILIMAN experience I was an irregular student (I enrolled on the 2nd semester of my 1st year at UP Cebu College due to the delay of the results of the STFAP scholarship) and supposed to graduate in October of 2000, but to my sister’s prodding and boldness, she asked me to take my two last subjects at UP Diliman notwithstanding the financial uncertainties she had at that time. I heed her call though. Three months at UP Diliman were stories of more awakenings, humility, scarcity and victory. The huge UP campus is a melting pot not only of diverse and weird personalities and sub-cultures but also of people of sharply distinct and polarized persuasions. I encountered many of them in my STS and Sociology class, in the canteens, in hallways, in dormitories, and in almost all four corners of the university—overhearing their cerebral discussions on vast range of issues i.e. macroeconomics, financial crisis & peso devaluation, gay rights, women’s issues, technology transfer, campus reforms & UP charter, crisis in governance, etc. All of these led me to one conclusion—that activism is really not a product of academic indoctrination but is borne out of existing social contradictions; that as long as the nation continues to be in crisis and the objective conditions dictate, the spectre of activism will hunt a country like a ghost; that crisis and activism are inseparable; and that activism is not something that a university can feed nor inculcate to their students, but something that one has to embark on because it is human nature to despise evils in society. I was humbled with the learning and awareness I had at UP Diliman. I felt closer to my alma mater on those times. I felt I owe so much to the people who pay for my education because it was through them that I gained the kind of wisdom that can transcend mediocrities. I was so proud of myself not because of the prestige that goes with being a UPian, but because I got the kind of education that liberates and empowers; the kind of institutional learning that fosters accountability to one’s country--one that instills sense of nationalism and patriotism. And who would dare to forget scarcity while in UP Diliman? In my three months stay there, I could only count in my fingers how often I went out from the campus due to financial dearth. I would even set aside a portion of my lunch to secure my dinner. I could not even buy that coveted UP souvenir T-shirt (but yehey! Alvin just bought me two UP souvenir baby Tees :-). That was scarcity in its sheer form. But I was rewarded for all of life’s destitutions—ni graduate gyud ko sa UP Dil and even got flat 1 and 1.08 in my Sociology and STS subjects respectively. :=) (not bad for one who had a hard time communicating in Tagalog considering that this was the medium of instruction in my two subjects) Hail to UP in its 100 years I pay tribute to my beloved Alma Mater. In its 100 years, it remains a hallmark of liberal education and its progressive and positive principles of academic freedom and excellence that allows the free flow of radical thoughts and ideas among students and teachers in the pursuit of collective activism. I hope that UP will remain true to its fervent commitment to soar this country to greater heights. And if in the passage of time UP will no longer remains to be a radical institution, it will always be inhabited by radical students and teachers who will continue to propagate radical ideas that will be amplified within and outside the confines of the university. Like people power, UP activism is not DEAD. Time and again, UP students, teachers and faculties were there in those trying times of our nation’s history, and continue to be with the people’s struggle. I believe that as a UPian, this is something that one could be very much proud of as the university’s legacy and distinction. The likes of Neri are but an exception; and the so-called “rich kids” labeled as the new majority, and the many cars parked in the campus do not mark the death of UP activism. Being rich or economically well off does not make one least of an activist. In fact, I’ve known some of those “rich kids” went up the mountains to fight for social change. There is really no hard and fast rule in the altar of activism. I pay tribute and give due recognition to the many activists before us, those who were with us, and even those who were after us who selflessly poured their energies, rallied and mobilized during the early years of the university, during the period of war and colonial occupations, during the First Quarter Storm and the long and painstaking years spent resisting Marcos dictatorship, during the two EDSAs, and up to the present time. UP is now confronting huge challenges ahead couched in the centennial theme “UP: Excellence, Service, and Leadership in the Next 100 Years.” Indeed, it is moving into the future with goals that are ever more expansive and demanding. To quote from the university’s website, “Excellence takes the form of not only developing but also discovering new areas of knowledge. Service goes beyond conducting research to include designing workable and effective action plans. And leadership demands transforming the nation through pioneering endeavors that serve as blueprints for national development.” For UP, the next century has really just begun.

International Women's Day

The new millennium has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women's and society's thoughts about women's equality and emancipation. Indeed, women's libertarian movement has gone a long way. Annually on 8 March, multitude of events are held throughout the world to pay tribute to women, inspire them, and celebrate their achievements. While large-scale initiatives are set, a rich and diverse fabric of local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities, theatric performances, wellness expo (if i'm not mistaken, there is one in Ayala or SM) and more. Amid the political saga that now besets the country, women from various groups are expected to come out on this very day to show their strength and indignation. The struggle for truth, justice, equality, peace and development certainly continues. Let us make a difference!! Let us move to actions for real results. Together, we will endeavor to make everyday International Women's Day. The challenge is for us to do our bit to ensure that the future of every woman & of every girl is bright, equal, safe and rewarding. Mabuhi ang mga Kababaenhan!